Thursday, May 23, 2013

Road trip frustrations and funnies II

This particular day of travel, had of course been planned down to the minute I would arrive in my driveway back in the Peaceful little town of Eagle, Idaho in five and one half hours. I had an extra hot Starbucks Grande Latte by my side, and in my lap for breakfast was my favorite, Bluberry Scone! (which we all know is basically a cube of butter with white flour, and 5 or 6 blueberries , dropped in so we can feel all healthy about it!)

I made up my mind I would not pull in anywhere to eat, couple rest stops and that's it. When I'm headed home..I'm not driving and enjoying the scenery..I just want to get there!

However, the stormy sky WAS determined to make me take notice of its beauty as I flew along.. with its ever changing display of different clouds, some white and flat on bottom, some black and low and heavy with drops,  it was amazing. Lightening flashed now and then, by the time I got to the Blue Mountains, it was snowing for about 20 minutes! What a show! Coming down the hill into La Grande and going through of the prettiest places Ive seen! Beautiful fields and pastures, with Majestic Mountains rising behind..Love it.

Well 3 hours into this trip, I of course realize that I am hungry. Already made one stop thanks to the Grande Latte, but determined not to stray off course for something as trivial as food, I decide to hit one more rest stop somewhere past Baker. Maybe check out one of those vending machines. Surely, there must be one or two "healthy" snacks available.

After using the facilities, even though the wind is blowing and it's COLD! I head back to the car to put on sweatshirt and gather up some change for my frugal time effective "lunch". As I head to the vending machine I notice that the thing is literally wrapped in a monstrous rusty metal cage with chains and locks and oh for goodness sake!!! Vandalism??? Clear out in the middle of nowhere?? For a bag of chips?? Rotten kids anyway, always ruining conveniences for the rest us nice people.

As I survey my selections, I am amazed once again at the junk people eat. I see that I have 3 choices of so called" Healthy "snacks.
(1) Yogurt covered fruits and nuts. (too sweet.)
(2) Dried apple rings (too boring)
(3) Wasabi nut mix...hmmm.enough sodium to cover a week, but..sounds tasty, decision made.

I have to reach about 2 inches into the cage to reach the place to put my dollar bills. (yes...this small bag of salty delight was $1.75) I am happy my hands are small so everything went in.  I press D2...clangity clang clang bag is dropped, just change...I notice it has shorted me 50 cents.
*sigh* I put the change plus more change back into the slot and again push D2 my taste buds are already happy just thinkin about this salty snack! Noises rattle from inside the machine, I watch in anticipation...kerplop! Whaaat!!? I did not hit the M n M button..why did it give me those!!? (now don't get me wrong, I love M n Ms...but this was NOT my I'm getting mad.
I stomp back to the car for more change and toss the random unwanted snack in the front seat. I return to the armour wrapped enemy put in more money and PUNCH the darn D2...noises, rumbling sounds from within the protected beast..yes!! the proper lever is moving..the bag moves forward starts to drop...... but it does NOT drop. It is of course hanging by juuust a corner... "Are you KIDDING me??" Much to the delight of the truckers and other Rest Stop Stoppers watching this drama unfold... I begin kicking the outside of the blasted armor, and trying to shove the thing out of its clutches, I body slam the side of it, then realizing my foot will fit in the area where food is supposed to come out, I give it four or five good kicks.I am huffing and puffing and realize..I'm no longer cold. I give it one last punch, which really hurt, then in defeat headed back to car.

There in the seat next to me is the crumpled bag of M n Ms. FINE. I will eat them.
I open the bag and try to shake a few out in my hand.. nothing comes out I look inside the bag and realize, this bag of M n Ms has been sitting in this vending machine since 1979. I start the car, turn on Ramble On by Led Zeppelin and head towards home. I realize by this time I could have pulled in to a Shari's and had a Cobb Salad  in the same amount of time I have "rested" at this stop.

I dumped them out on the counter when I got home just to document my experience which resulted in an empty stomach and a bruised hand.
and entertainment for a few other bored and weary travelers.

"Ramble on..nows the time the time is now to sing my my daughter says, "Led Zeppelin makes everything better."

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